Dads View - Getting Anna up the duff

They say ‘There is always two sides to every story’, probably three, the third being the truth. This is my side. Us fellas are the simplest of creatures when boiled down to the simplest things. We are all the same. In order for us to survive and be happy ‘Feed us and fuck have sex with us’ in return we will do our best to provide you with everything, a roof over your head, a comfortable life, food in your belly and next to that food a baby. That is a pretty standard egocentric view of how things roll. In our relationship I did all those things……except the baby thing. For what ever reason, my swimmers (sperm) are terrible. Not ‘a little irregular’ or ‘a touch inactive’ I'm talking TERRIBLE! Like I said in the beginning, we are simple creatures with one role in ensuring the human race continues and when you are incapable of doing this it’s hard not to feel like you aren’t contributing to humanity,  you're a useless male, luggage.

Luckily for me Anna didn’t share those views, she is a lot more pragmatic with her life approach. She set about putting herself through the only option available to ensure we could have children, pushing needles through which various concoctions of hormones would send her body into overdrive and allow her eggs to be harvested like ripe grapes plucked from a vine. All of which made her sad, happy, sick and crazy…..real crazy. And all for me, us. For this I will forever be enamoured and in her debt. Which is why that is one of the millions of examples of why I coul sail past the ‘I don’t know if I like you anymore' crazy moments fertility drugs brought on because it wasn't her, it's not her fault, we are here because of me.

Needless to say after all that she put herself through when the first embryo was placed back inside her, we cried with excitement. Only to cry again shortly after we found out the embryo didn’t take and we were back to square one. It’s a roller coaster, one that once aboard you are unable to see the end, duration, path it takes or how scary it is. We saw this as the final roll of the dice, with everything bet on it. I know that this isn’t the case, people will say that there are countless options, surrogates, adoptions, ‘a friend of mine tried this’, ‘just relax and it will happen’, ‘when the time is right it will happen’ the list goes on, and I say this with love, SHUT THE FUCK UP. People are amazing and innately offer positivity and solutions, all road maps to similar trips that have been taken but completely different journeys, similar, but not ours.

After we mentally built ourselves back up enough to attempt the transplant for the second time we had talked ourselves into setting low expectations for success, you can’t be disappointed if you don’t have high hopes. How is that for a defeatist mentality?! Deep down both of us had everything thing we could possibly cross, crossed, hoping that this would work. And it did. I can remember the home and garden magazine I thumbed through in the reception, I remeber the doctors suite in the corner of the building looking out over Ellerslie racecourse, I remember Anna’s face and how she seemed to hold her breath while the scan was taking place, I rember the flicking light on the screen indicating a viable heart beat and I remember how time stood still when the doctor said ‘Oh……we need to have a conversation about their being two of them….you are having twins.’ I also remember jumping up and down, clapping my hands and making a weird squealing noise whilst Anna grabbed the wall to stop her from falling, even though she was horizontal on a bed. I always for what ever reason had wanted twins and as always the universe was delivering.

We had done it!!! We were finally going to be parents, job done. That’s what I thought anyway.

Through out the pregnancy Anna was incredibly sick, even with the blood volume in her body doubling and two humans growing inside of her, she was losing weight. She battled hard in the beginning, going to work and trying to work. It is amazing how much the human body can endure, Anna would try her best to eat and drink but no matter what we tried, nothing would stay inside. I was worried that not only she wasn’t getting what her body needed to sustain itself but that the boys were also going without. Trips to hospital to plunge knitting sized needles into evasive veins so that IV lines could top up the fluid levels that Anna couldn’t maintain on her own were a regular, the intercostal muscles between her ribs stretched and contorted to make space for the every growing little humans she was nurturing, but causing her immense pain at the same tme. Massages, heat packs, cold packs, osteo, chiro, acupuncture, you name it, we tried it, nothing worked. Every morning I would wake up wishing I could, but knowing I couldn’t do a single thing to help, no chance of pain minimization, to stop her being sick.. just a hope that it won’t be as bad as the day before. It took every ounce of Anna’s strength to get through each day, no food, no water, the only thing that kept her full was the love growing inside of her. Love was the only thing that kept all three of them going.

I have to admit that I wasn’t the most supportive partner, I thought for whatever reason all the fun things I did, we did, were coming to a close and I did what every egocentric vapid individual does. I partied, a lot. I convinced myself that going out and drinking as much as I could, would capture some of the partying I would soon be missing. I don’t think I achieved that. What I did do was leave Anna by herself when she needed me most, as we were heading into the biggest moment in our lives, Anna was alone and I was drunk.

I'm not sure at what point things changed, if something was said, if I did something that pushed her past the point of putting up with it, but it did. Things changed. You quickly realize that if you are going to become great parents, you first need to be a great team, a great couple. We had open honest discussions about what we needed, expected and wanted to be the best we could be for each other.

As we got closer to the due date, anticipation built. A couple of ‘episodes’ had us pretty nervous, at around the 30 week mark we rushed into hospital thinking that the boys were about to arrive, less than ideal. When it comes to twins, everything in the pregnancy is stacked against you, things can go wrong and often do, we were glad we had an amazing OB by our side at times like this. Steroid injections were administered to build the boys lungs up in the event they did turn up early and we were told to be ready. I was travelling away for work to the 7’s in Wellington the next day, my boss ‘Bosto’ at ZM was super cool and gave me the option of staying home but Anna insisted I go.

It was going to take a village to raise these boys and luckily for us we had what felt like a whole country behind us, family, friends, collegues, strangers, everyone was offering assistance. It was incredibly heartening to know we had that kind of support, we didn’t take it for granted and we made sure we took people up on their offers. I don’t know how we would’ve done it without them.

It was early march and I had managed to surf quite a lot over summer, sneaking in waves whenever I could, everything was looking good for the following day at Piha so the plan was to be at the beach at 6am before the seabreeze ruffled the water. That night however I enjoyed a few cold yeasts with the lads to watch the rugby and hit the snooze button when my alarm went off at 5am opting for a sleep in. At 6:30 Anna woke me up thinking she had wet the bed, this was a sign of things to come, the boys were up and wanting to meet us six weeks early...

Get it right, get it tight. The experts advice on closing that "gap" after babies.

You fall pregnant, GREAT, you deliver a healthy little baby (or babies), even BETTER! But once you start to "get back to normal" something isn't quite right...you have that dreaded muscle separation in your abdomen, NOT great! I had a 3 finger "gap", as I like to call it, after the birth of the Nuggets and over a 6 month period managed to pretty much close it entirely. I worked with an amazing Physio and PT to do this as I wasn't quite game to tackle it myself. I know not everyone has the luxury to be able to do the same thing; so I spoke with both of them and they have put together some exercises you can do at home or in the gym to start closing that gap.  Part one: Everything you want to know and more on muscle separation and some home friendly exercises.

Stacy from re:ab is my amazing physio and pilates instructor, she specialises in women's health. So this is her jam, she is an absolute expert and incredibly passionate about this topic. So I thought it best she explain all this stuff as I would have no idea what I was talking about.

I asked her to put together a few exercises that you can do at home to start conditioning your abdominal muscles in a very gentle way. Stacy is all about slow and steady. Some of these moves aren't exactly targeting your abdomen, but they are all important in the wider approach to healing.

So from the expert herself; Stacy Law 

DRA – The what, why, how – and the solution.

Diastasis Recti (DRA) often occurs during pregnancy, particularly in the 3^rd trimester – but it can also occur through inappropriate abdominal activation over time.

DRA is a separation of the two sides of your Rectus Abdominus muscle or your “6 pack” muscle. The two sides are joined together by a length of connective tissue called the Linea Alba. Due to the force put on the abdominals by a growing baby and pregnancy hormones that work to soften connective tissue, the Linea Alba can weaken and stretch apart or widen. If the Linea Alba has had too much stress placed on it, it will struggle to generate tension – and that’s where we run in to problems.

For a lot of women this gap will close naturally in the first few weeks post birth, as the uterus shrinks back to normal size and swelling subsides. But for some it is more problematic, and they will require a targeted programme to heal their DRA. It’s important that you address your DRA, as it can be linked to a number of other problems - back and hip pain, pelvic floor problems, hernia and that unwanted abdominal pouch!

We assess DRA by looking at the length, depth and width of the separation, but also, and most importantly, your ability to generate tension across that gap. Women often get really focused on the width – and while that is important to know, and keep an eye on, it’s also good to remember that it may not close completely. The way you are activating your core is the key and you can be fully functional with a small and well controlled DRA.

A little disclaimer before we go through some exercises . . .

Correct Activation

 The most important thing with DRA, is making sure you can activate the core correctly and that you aren’t bulging out or doming up the two side of your abdominals.

This starts with the knowledge that by “core” we don’t just mean your abdominals. You have 4 main core stability muscles – and all are significantly effected by pregnancy. It can help to think of the core like a cylinder inside your abdominal cavity, with your Diaphragm (your main breathing muscle) at the top, abdominals at the front, pelvic floor on the bottom and your deep spinal extensors (Multifidus) at the back. A balanced and coordinated action of all the muscles that support your centre is required for good control. One of the hardest things to get back post pregnancy is that connection between them, so make sure that you spend some time focusing on it.

What we do know is that many women don’t activate their core correctly – they often end up bracing their abs and bearing down on the pelvic floor. This increases your intraabdominal pressure and the weakened structures will struggle to work against that.   I hate saying it, as we are all about getting women back in to exercise - but doing your core exercises incorrectly can in some cases end up being worse than doing nothing at all!

The Exercises

 These are some entry level exercises. They are designed to help you reconnect with your core and start you out on the road back to full strength and function.

ACTIVATION (Pelvic Floor and Lower Abs)

• Lie on your back or side with your knees bent, hands on hips, fingertips just inside your hipbones. You should be in a neutral spine*
• Take a deep breath in through your nose, feel the breath expand in to your ribcage and belly
• As you breathe out, gently draw up your pelvic floor muscles and engage lower abdominals – there are a few ways to think about this, find the one that works best for you.

Imagine:

• Your pelvic floor is a silk hankie that you are drawing up gently inside you,
• Feel that you are trying to lift a tampon up inside to stop it from falling out
• Feel that you’re zipping up a tight pair of jeans and then doing up the button

 Hold for 2 - 3 seconds and then let it relax. It’s just as important to be able to feel the relax as it is the contraction. Rest between contractions for 5 – 10 seconds.

• Goal is to be able to hold that gentle contraction for 10 x 10 second holds – build up to that slowly.

TECHNIQUE TIP – if you press quite hard inside your hips bones, then as your lift your pelvic floor you should be able to feel some tension being created under your fingertips. This is your lower abdominals activating. When activating your Pelvic Floor muscles, it’s important to think of a lift, rather than a squeeze to ensure that you aren’t bearing down.

Also – keep your bum muscles and your upper body nice and relaxed as you activate.

*Neutral Spine (Neutral Zone) is the point where load is transferred evenly through all of your vertebrae. One of the easiest ways to think about it when you’re lying on your back is that your pubic bone and your hip bones should be level. Basically your lower back should not be too arched, nor should it be flattened in to the ground – find the sweet spot in the middle!

[wpvideo O7189NrG]

BENT KNEE FALL OUT:

Start in your neutral spine* position with your hands just inside your hip bones. Inhale to start. As you exhale, draw up your pelvic floor, engage lower abdominals and gently drop one knee out to the side. Only go as far as you can whilst keeping control of the position of your hips (see photo below of how not to do it). Inhale as you return the knee to centre and repeat with other leg.

Repeat 3 x 10 each side

SINGLE LEG SLIDE:

 Lie on your back in your neutral spine* position, foot on a small ball if you have one. Inhale to start, as you exhale gently draw up your pelvic floor, engage your abs and slide one leg out straight. Make sure that your back stays still as your leg slides away – and that you keep the distance between your ribs and hips the same. Inhale as you draw your leg back in.

Repeat 3 x 10 each side

 

PELVIC CURL/BRIDGE:

Lie on your back with your knees bent. As you exhale, draw up through pelvic floor and abdominals, engage your glutes and peel your spine up off the ground. Inhale at the top and as you exhale, roll back down to the floor – softening through your ribcage and imagine lengthening your spine as you put it back on the ground.

Repeat 3 x 8 – 10 (maintaining form)

TECHNIQUE TIP – when you are up in the bridge you should imagine a straight diagonal line between your ribs and your hips, rather than arcing up like a rainbow. When you’re in the correct position it should be easy to lift the pelvic floor and engage abs, as gravity gives you a bit of a helping hand! If you feel this exercise more in your back than in your abs and glutes, you know that you aren’t quite nailing the technique, stop and try again later or ask for help if necessary!

Book Openings:

Lie on your side with your knees bent, both hands behind your head. Exhale as you open your elbow up towards the ceiling and then out to the opposite wall. Make sure that your hips stay facing forward and that you keep supporting your head with your hands. Repeat 3 – 4 on each side

 

Hip Flexor Stretch:

Kneel with your L foot forward – make sure that your hips are square. Concentrate on gently tucking your tailbone under and squeezing your R butt cheek to really feel the stretch in the front of the R hip. Take your R hand up towards the ceiling to further increase the stretch. Hold at least 30 seconds and repeat other side.

 

Wall Stretch:

Lie with your legs up the wall (bum as close to the wall as you can get it). Let the legs and back relax as you hold this for at least 30 seconds. Cross your R heel over your L knee to get a stretch in your R butt cheek. To increase the stretch, slide your L heel down towards your butt (aiming to keep your back and bum on the floor). Hold at least 30 seconds and then repeat on the opposite side.

NB: This a great place to practice some good breathing technique, multitasking mums will get this!

 

 Main points to remember:

First Do No Harm:

If you have a DRA you really want to try and avoid making it any worse than it already is. Take care when getting up out of bed (roll to the side and push yourself up as you did during pregnancy). Think about activating your core when lifting, settling, feeding or bathing your baby. Take care with heavier lifting – shopping bags, capsule, buggy etc and with coughing/sneezing (activate your PFM and abs first!). Also be careful with traditional abdominal strengthening exercises – crunches, planks, double leg lifts and press ups. You may be able to work your way back to these things eventually but they are certainly not the place to start.

 Posture and Alignment are incredibly important in helping heal your DRA. Imagine your body like a hose, kinks in the hose cause pressure build ups, and eventually that has to go somewhere – we don’t want that to be out the front of your abdominal wall! Try and focus on your posture through out the day, especially if you are carrying kids!

Breathing technique is vital for your general health – but also has a direct link to spine and pelvic stability. Stop and take some time to practice some good deep breaths.

Deep core muscles - connecting with your pelvic floor and lower abdominals properly is the most important step. Once you have really mastered the technique you can move forward with appropriate strengthening. In fact, you can really do anything as long as you know you can maintain correct core activation throughout the activity. But you must make sure that you have it right – get it checked if you are concerned!

Know your limits – you aren’t doing yourself any favours by thrashing your body if the foundations aren’t there to support you. In the long run you will be doing more harm than good. Take it slow and steady – be patient and persevere. Trust that if you put the work in, you’ll be ready for Anna’s epic next level exercises before you know it.

 Summing it up . . .

 Our best advice is that if you are concerned about having a DRA, or how you are activating your core, book an assessment with a Women’s Health Physiotherapist or personal trainer who is qualified and experienced in pre and postnatal conditions. They can check your DRA properly and then work with you to ensure that you are on the right track.

Find a women’s health physio here.

Or if you have any questions you can get in touch here or email info@leto.co.nz

Part Two: Exercises for you to do in the gym for you gym bunnies out there

Aaron is my PT from The Exercise Room and he has been amazing with helping me regain strength in my core. When I first came to him he worked really closely with Stacy over what I was allowed to do and not allowed. Some of the below are exercises we did all the time when I still had a large gap and some are more advanced that I "graduated" too  once I was stronger and my core was "reconnecting" like Stacy talked about above.

Swiss Ball Cable Rotation

Face cable tower. Position ball in front of stomach. Use outside hand to grab the rope cable attachment. Turn into start position with inside hand grabbing the cable. Plant feet shoulder width apart and focus on maintaining posture and core activation. Keep weight even in both legs, maintain posture, and suck stomach button in towards spine. Twist away from the cable tower and return. Keep movement slow and controlled. Repeat movement on both sides.

Repeat 3x 10-15 on each side

Standing Cable Hold

Stand with inside shoulder next to cable tower. Use inside hand to grab the handle cable attachment. Bring both hands together and hold in front of your sternum. Plant feet shoulder width apart and focus on maintaining posture and core activation. Keep weight even (side to side, and forward and back), maintain posture and suck stomach button in. Push hands away from your sternum and aim for a point approx 40-50cm in front of you then return to sternum. Ensure that your hands travel straight and do not move side to side during this movement. Repeat movement on both sides.

Repeat 3x 10-15 on each side

 TECHNIQUE TIP – Add an isometric hold to end of the movement by holding your hands out and away from your body for 3 seconds.

Swiss Ball Half Crunch

Sit on Swiss ball. Roll down the ball by walking feet out and lying backwards. Make sure that glutes are resting on the edge of the ball and that lower back is supported. Cross hands over chest and lie back. Keep feet shoulder width apart for balance. Ensure that lower back and glutes are in contact with the ball. Initiate the movement by squeezing core tight. Use chest to lead movement and make sure neck is neutral. Roll up until your thoracic spine (middle portion) starts to leave the ball. Roll down.

Repeat 3x 10-12

Swiss Ball Half Roll Out

Sit on your knees with Swiss ball in front. Lean forward and place elbows on ball – it is important that we create a box under our body between our legs and the ball. Suck stomach button in towards spine and make sure chest does not cave in. Keep weight even between legs and arms. Keep body still and engage core. Move arms forward and return back. Maintain control with body and try to avoid moving too side to side too much. If you can't control the movement then this is too advanced for your core.

Repeat 3x 10-12

TECHNIQUE TIP – To ensure core activation, focus on building internal tightness through activation our deep core muscles (mentioned above) throughout the entire movement.

Bosu Ball

The use of the BOSU ball will create a need to maintain balance. When used effectively, balance training will allow you to lock in your core while activating key muscle groups.

Use a variety of movements, lasting approx. 20-30s each; Repeat in circuit form 3-4x.

 

TRX

The TRX allows you to alter the demands placed on muscles during movement. It is a great tool to grow and develop strength, as you can add or remove loads depending on your level of strength. You can also alter your placement of hands or feet to add a balance component to movements – as shown in the photos.

Use a variety of movements, lasting approx. 20-40s each; Repeat in circuit form 3-4x.

Outfit details:

Black Kmart singlet & Lululemon tights

New Balance singlet, Lululemon tights and New Balance Fresh Foam Zante sneakers

Yesterday I lost a Nugget!

SOOOOO yesterday I lost Hunter at the park. I'm a terrible parent right?! We went to our favourite park on the shore, Onepoto Domain, if you follow me on Snap Chat then you will see it often, it's a bike park and playground all rolled into one and is epic...except for when you lose one of your sons and a stranger finds him standing on the ROAD!

We met up with one of my fellow twin mum friends, Heather, and her two amazing twin girls who the Nuggets adore!

We go to this park all the time so I feel very comfortable there, the road that leads into it is only accessed by those going to the domain, so it's not super busy. The park is set back from the road and the car parks back onto it, so kids have to go past a row of cars to get onto the road. This is something all mums, but in particular mums of multiples think of, how far is the road if my twins split and run in different directions? We often look for gated playgrounds to take this risk out. As I said though, I felt pretty comfortable here and surely I could catch a Nugget sneaking to the road before he got there right?! Wrong!

I have written about this park before here. We were playing at that same slide but this time I was standing at the top. Usually I sit at the bottom so they come out, see me and then run up again. The whole playground goes back behind that slide, so If I'm at the bottom I can see most of the playground and I know they can only run back into bush area behind it. My friend and I were keeping an eye on our four toddlers who were wanting to play with different things on the playground, of course they do! Hunter was playing on the slide to my right and Oscar was walking across a wobbly bridge to my left when he fell off. He was crying so I picked him up and brought him back to the slide, I probably spoke a few words to my friend before thinking Hunter hadn't run back up to the top of the slide. Now I am not a helicopter parent, but even if I wanted to be you couldn't be with twins in a park unless you duct tape the little buggers together! I started to worry so went around the side of the playground as we often play around there, but he wasn't there. For some reason I didn't think he would have walked down the path to the road so I actually wasn't THAT worried. I seriously thought he would've snuck back up past me into playground so I checked again. He wasn't there and again I wasn't THAT worried as there is the bike track that he could have been on, so that's where I was checking next. This is why I felt terrible afterwards, why didn't I think about the road? WHY wasn't I THAT worried? I mean my 2-year-old child has been missing for a minute to two, we are in a busy park during school holidays, someone could have taken him or he could be on the road (duh Anna why didn't you think of that!).

As I was walking out to the bike path I see a nice young women walking towards the playground with Hunter in her arms. When I think about it now I am so relived, but at the time I was like "oh there you are!" She informed me she found him standing on the speed bump in the middle of the road! I mean seriously, what the hell! I felt like I needed to explain I have twins and I wasn't just a slack mum not keeping an eye on her one toddler at the park, as I felt a little bit judged that he had gotten out there.

Now I think, why didn't I think to go there first? Why wasn't I panicking and running around to check the places faster than walking? I need to get my head checked! I know this won't be the first time this has happened to a parent, but it's the lack of panicking thing that got my thinking and freaked me out a bit, maybe I am too relaxed as a parent?!

We can't win as mothers can we, there are always two sides to every emotion, thought, plan, routine, parenting style....it's endless. I was feeling bad for not panicking when I am usually quite proud of being a relaxed parent and going with the flow. I'm a mum of twin boys who are rough and tumble, I let them explore the world at a pace they feel confident with and yes sometimes they get hurt! I also don't have eyes in the back of my head, so I can't physically watch out for them 24/7 and I don't think I need too. Kids learn from mistakes.  Not having eyes in the back of my head has led to Oscar receiving a massive cut to his head when he pulled a chair onto his face (his scar is how some people tell them apart) and Hunter breaking his nose riding his trike off the steps of our deck! Bad stuff happens, you have to take it all in your stride..otherwise I think I would be a wreck with the endless 'what if' possibilities. I know this isn't one of those if they fall down let them get back up scenarios, he could have been hit by a car, it is horrifying to think about. But should a hopefully once off, really make me call into question my whole parenting style?

Have any of you had any moments that lead to a crisis of confidence in your parenting?

Lessons and gratefulness

Today was a great day, I was reminded that I should be so grateful to be a twin mama and have my handsome, smart, fun and clever little boys, Oscar and Hunter in my life! Today was a great day but there have been plenty of really really tough ones. We had an extremely tough time settling into twin life (that's a whole other blog post though, and it's coming, I promise). 

The Nuggets turned two in March and with two comes the terrible twos. While my children definitely are delightful, they have been trying the last few months. They aren't naughty but they are just learning so much and they are trying to put it into practice. Just like the other morning when I was getting changed and they decided they wanted to "scramble" some eggs! I mean it was very clever, they got the bowl out from the cupboard I usually scramble eggs in, pulled a chair up to the bench, put the eggs in the bowl (and the floor!) and then got a fork to whisk it together. Hunter kept muttering "whisk, whisk" when I caught them. It's very cute and all but not something I wanted to deal with first thing in the morning!

Another example; which I feel a bit mean about being frustrated over, is Hunters lack of skills on the balance bike. I have twins, very strong and ahead of the game kids. They do stuff other kids their age won't dream of...and they usually can do everything equally as good as each other. So when Hunter hadn't mastered the bike like Oscar had it threw me.

We went to the pink bike lane in Auckland CBD the other weekend and it was an absolute nightmare! Oscar NAILED his bike, he rode it the whole way with no problems and was really good. But Hunter was useless (I know this is a horrible reason to be frustrated) but he cried, moaned and just wasn't having a bar of it. We should have brought his three-wheeler, but we had done balance bike rides before and even though he wasn't as good as Oscar he could still plod along. This time however he just wasn't into it, which is cool, but after having to bend over and push him along (when we stopped he would tantrum) it became a pain in the ass and back, literally! Cue getting frustrated as this was just something we had never had to deal with...I feel like an awful mum writing this. Why should I be frustrated by my child just because he can't do something as well as his brother? Come on Anna, pull your head in! If you follow me on Snapchat then you would have seen the battles we were having.

Fast forward to today and I knew I wanted to get the boys out and about this afternoon while we still have some pretty good weather. Being honest again, parks kind of suck at the moment. They get bored but at the same time they don't want to go home and fight me all the way to and into the car! Which is just sometimes too much to handle so I don't even try in the first place. Who wants to be kicked and screamed at while you wrestle your kids away from a park and into a carseat?

Today was going to be different, I wanted to get out and about and enjoy my afternoon with my children who are growing up all too  fast for my liking. I thought we should head to a bike park Jay and I had taken them too about 8 months prior on the shore. I know...bike park? You think I'm asking for a second run of the pink walk! But this park had the bike lanes and two playgrounds so I thought it would take much longer for them to get bored.

This time we packed both of the boys Cruzzee balance bikes and one of the three wheelers for Hunter as he wanted that one. I took the second balance bike as I know my boys,  they fight over toys and want to have the same things. Best way to avoid that is have double of the important things.

We cruised around this awesome bike park, at Onepoto Domain on the shore for about 30 minutes and I was right, Hunter suddenly had the confidence to hit the balance bike again...AND he was great! He went over the bumps and cruised down big hills. I was so proud of him, it was such a good outing and I loved seeing Hunter develop and grow.

[wpvideo BO0GEe7E]

There was two cool playgrounds at the park, one for little kids and one for bigger children. In the big one there was a giant tube slide, the boys seriously played on this thing for 20 minutes while I did random exercises at the bottom (I could'nt get to the gym on Monday so felt I needed to get my heart rate going for a little while).

The boys LOVED this slide, Oscar always went down first follow by Hunter. Oscar was so excited when Hunter came down, EVRYTIME, he jumped up and down with such excitement that Hunter was about to pop out. It was that moment that really made me remember that I was so so so lucky to be a twin mama. Yes they can be trying but moments like these just make my heart melt. They have their best friend from birth and even though they fight, are co-conspirators, they find so much joy in experiencing new things together. It literally made my heart fill up with so much joy. I admit, I have been a little overwhelmed and busy recently and haven't found enough joy in the small things. I'm so grateful for today, to have two boys who love each other dearly, are healthy and amazing little men. Little men that make me want to be a better me,  to have a supportive partner, a partner that also makes me a better person. I'm very lucky and sometimes I need to set aside all the "garbage" and remember that, just like today. Man I am lucky!

[wpvideo 81KAY6kb]

We are important too you know

Last week I went to the launch of "Dear Mummy, You're Important Too" a self published book by mummy of two, Tui Fleming. She isn't an expert and this book isn't you're usual parenting book filled with tips on turning your children into angels with 10 easy steps (yeah right?!). This book is all about you, the mummy, you are at the heart this book.  What I love about Tui's book is that it's all about giving mums permission to put themselves first. Because we mums have to put ourselves first and look after ourselves so we can be the best mothers to our children, wives/partners to our significant others and the best versions of ourselves. As Tui writes "We need to be selfish to be selfless". This was a line that really stood out to me when I first sat down to read the book as it's something I really put into practice when the boys were 6 months old after dealing with a half year of reflux and collic.

I don't know about you but "me time" is as important to me as oxygen. I need a little alone time, otherwise I slowly stop functioning properly and my mothering to the Nuggets starts to slide, I don't have the energy for it or I'm snappy and not engaged properly with them. If I have had a little bit alone time then I am energised, I'm more "me" and I'm that one step closer to being the best "me" I can be; that is a much better scenario for my family.

During the launch there was a panel discussion with Tui and Jo Pilkington owner of  @firstscene, Melissa Jack of @thebestnest and Lorraine Scans of @pregnancyexercise (instagram handles). They discussed a number of trials us mums deal with. One of which is guilt. A lot of the chat was that mums do feel a lot of guilt, especially with making this alone time for themselves or putting themselves first. I was sitting there thinking how I have become very good at taking time for myself and not feeling guilty about it...and unbelievably I started to feel GUILTY that I didn't feel guilt like some of these others mothers. My crazy little mind started whirling, do I not love my children as much as these woman do etc etc, is that why I don't feel guilty? Nuts right?! I had to snap myself out of it, feeling guilty because I didn't feel guilty? Crazy stuff Anna! It struck me how powerful this little bastard guilt can be, it can even pop up at the most ridiculous time when it is completely un warranted.

This is why this book is such a good tool for all the mums out there. There are thousands of  books that are written to help guide you through parenthood, but very few that are there to support you, the mother. So if you want a book that helps you find your "you" after giving birth, guides you into giving your self permission to take time out, helps you let go of that little, but often negative, voice in your head then this is something you need to read.

Dear Mummy, You're Important Too is $29.99 and available here

Keeping those bloody colds at bay!

The nuggets are exactly like me, every turn of season they get colds! Then throughout winter they flip flop between being fine and having a green snotty nose, not exactly ideal! Not even the Nuggets can look cute on Instagram with green snot ooozing from thier handsome little faces. Jokes aside, I want two healthy and happy little men all winter as opposed to two sick clingy nuggets, it's the pits!  I find that if the boys have a sniffle I can usually bring it to a standstill if I attack early enough with some serious doses of Vitamin C. Of course I don't always win this war but its better to win some battles than none at all right?!

Today I was walking down the aisle at my local Countdown and all the kids vitamins caught my attention. It was time for a top up so I checked out all the options. I have a massive habit (not a bad habit to have at all) of reading ingredient lists on the back of items. You obviously want to choose the best option and I find all the pretty packaging can be so distracting, as well as price points. What is it with parents and buying items like this that makes us instantly think "the most expensive item must be the better"? Sure sometimes they are but not all price points and products are created equal! There really is a HUGE difference to what makes up each option. I snap chatted (user name: annareeve1986) a few options and had so many screen shots that I thought this must be a topic you mums are interested in.

Before I start I'll let you know that the RDI (recommended daily intake) of Vit C for children aged 1-8 is 35mg, if you are like me numbers mean nothing to you so here it is in layman's terms. An Orange has about 70mg, a cup of Kale has 80mg and there is 65mg in a Kiwifruit (thanks Julia for giving me this info). Of course its best to get all our vitamins and minerals from food but in winter we need to up the intake so we can stop those bloody runny noses in their tracks!  So here goes, a bit more info on what I found and what I decided to buy for the nuggets.

The Nuggs love the gummy type vitamins versus the chewable tablet. This is also is a win win for me as these gummy vitamins are known to them as treats/lollies/sweets, so easy to fool 2 year olds! They have no idea what they actually are and they have been great bribing tools as of late! I mean seriously what more could you want for in a vitamin, other than a miracle cure of course?

There were only two gummy options, Bioglan and Blackmores. Bioglan was around the $18 mark and came with 60 gummies, but you need to take two a day. My photos are a little shitty but there is 30mg of Vit C and 2.5mg of Zinc. This one is what I was naturally drawn to, all those pretty colours and eye level placement works a charm!

Second option was Blackmores, this was hiding all the way down on the bottom shelf and I almost missed it. 36 gummies for $14.99 and you only need ONE of these a day - bloody bargain! The photo on this one is a little better so you can see all the ingredients below. These has much more Vit C, Zinc plus Vit A & D, which are all really good for our immune system. Winner! These bad boys came home with me and the Nuggets gobbled them up for an after dinner "treat"! I could be telling you all what you already know, but with things like this check the back. It's amazing the difference there are amongst these suckers.

Other things to think about - some of these gummies do have lots sugar in them, so if you are a completely sugar-free household then this isn't going to be for you. We are reasonably sugar free here, the Nuggs go crazy on the stuff and I just can't handle two crazy toddlers! But I obviously don't mind a little bit here and there and this is something that I definitely let it slide on. It's a shame that unlike food products they don't have to list the amounts of sugar on the packaging on these things. On the Bioglan packet it states that it contains sugar but not how much. On the other hand Blackmores states it doesn't have any added artificial sweeteners.  I feel "No added artificial colours, flavours and sweeteners" is a buzz sentence you see on a lot of products these day...would be interesting to know if that meant they had no actual sugar in them too? But I think sugar doesn't fall under the artifical sweetener umbrella?!

The above is just what's available in your supermarkets, but if you go to the chemist or health store there is a whole other realm of Vit C supplements. it literally blows my mind how big that industry is! Ideally I would love the boys to take Vit C in powder or liquid form in a drink or smoothie, but half the time the little buggers wont finish their drink/pour it on the floor/feed it to the cat...so I'm not actually sure how much they are getting. I'm a bit of a freak and I like the fact that I know if they eat one of the gummies that they have taken X amount and are keeping those snotty noses away!

What supplements if any do you give to your kids? Is it something you put value in doing? I could write a whole other blog post on other things I use for the Nuggets, but I think I will save that for another time if that's something you lovely lot would like to know more about?

UPDATE:

Blackmores saw my post and replied about the sugar content on my Instagram 

Hi, I'm Anna

I never thought I would be back here...in the blog world. But here I am, 5 years after shutting my last website, Front Row Diary, down. It was a site I sort of fell into, I had a background in fashion and I was presenting a fashion tv show called The Scene on the now defunct ALT TV here in New Zealand. I loved presenting and interaction with all the people in the fashion industry so the site seemed like a logical step. I didn't love it, I was studying, working full-time in PR, I wasn't passionate about it at the time and that lead to its demise. This time it's different, I'm 2 years into this thing called parenthood to my identical twin boys Oscar & Hunter aka The Reeve Nuggets, married to an amazing man and finally out of that fog that comes with having twins. We share our life through Instagram and I have always been very open an honest about my life with Alopecia (that's a whole other story) so have decided to put it all down in a blog. This time it will be all about my life with Jay, the nuggets and all the things that make us who we are. I hope you enjoy it.